Everything Is Pointless

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Death of a Window Cleaner

Consider this sorry yet intriguing tale from the BBC, about the death of a window cleaner, who drowned head first in his own bucket:

A window cleaner drowned in his bucket of water after suddenly collapsing while he worked, an inquest heard.

...The father-of-one, of Fowler Close, Scholes, was working at the home of Miss Bebe in Whelley, near Wigan. She told the inquest: "I went outside to hang some washing at the back when I saw a ladder propped up against the wall. "I then saw Mark lying on the ground motionless, with his arms tucked in and his head tilted to the right inside the bucket.

...Miss Bebe told the jury she thought Mr Fairhurst may have fallen while on the ground, rather than from his ladder. The hearing also heard that the window cleaner had complained about heart palpitations earlier in the year but had not told his doctor. Pathologist Dr Charles Wilson told the jury he had been informed that Mr Fairhurst had been assaulted in August 2005 which had led to memory problems. He said he could not rule out the incident being linked to his blackout - but was satisfied there was no foul play.

And the mind boggles as to what actually happened. Did he fall off the ladder and land head first in the bucket? Was he standing over it, and by bad luck, passed out and toppled in? Perhaps he'd been attracted to something in the bucket (like a raven that's spotted a shiny coin) and with his head in it, passed out and drowned?

Maybe he had been fiendishly murdered, by a rival window cleaner? The head in the bucket could've been a clue! Or perhaps it was some misadventure. He could have been practising for the Guinness World Record for holding your breath underwater in a bucket the longest.

Or maybe it was god or even aliens (okay, now I'm being silly).

The absurd theory I favour the most, is that it was a particularly poignant suicide. What better way for a window cleaner to go, than drowning in his own soapsuds?

And finally, is there a moral to this story? Water kills?!

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